Weekly War Bulletin, 11 Sep

Those deeply unpopular and ineffective speed cameras whose only point was bleed dry the poor hard-done-by ordinary Motoring Brit?  Switching them off has prompted an, er, popular backlash from ordinary Brits, after their roads filled with people driving like massive twats.  Even the AA has realised that the anti-camera morons are not representative of their members.

In Dorset they’re serious about their War On The Motorist: in the Poole suburb of Sandbanks, famous as home to spoilt sportsmen celebrities with Range Rovers, a quarter of all Motorists have been caught speeding within the past five years.  Poole are even bucking the trend by installing those evil average-speed cameras on streets with schools.

Shocking finding of investigative journalism, though: law entirely ineffective at punishing and reforming dangerous drivers.

Allegedly, the tube strike led to a rise in cycling.  I only saw an increase in inexperienced drivers on the road, but then, I live in South London where we don’t have tubes anyway.  As the Tories criticise the unions for walking out on strike instead of being nice and getting around the table to talk about the ticket office closures, they, er, walk out of the London Assembly, refusing to debate the issue of ticket office closures.

Candidates for mayor are firing up their politicking, with Boris stating disagreement with coalition transport cuts, and Ken promising to resurrect the never obviously useful Cross River Tram project.  And desperate to make the Hire Bikes — and by association the one lone man solely responsible for their entire concept and implementation, Boris — look brilliant, the Standard now claim that “Boris Bikes” are inflating property prices around the docks.  Meanwhile, the problems with the system mount up, as TfL automatically charge users’ credit cards hundreds of pounds each for non-existent usage.

“Signalling irregularity” sent a Hammersmith & City train the wrong way down the tracks, weeks after the media mostly ignored the runaway Northern Line train.

The director of Stratford Westfields shopping mall thinks that Stratford needs international trains to stop at its white elephant international station — that “international commuters” are vital for its development…

Speaking of white elephants — that absurd cable car suggestion to cross the river between the Dome and Silvertown?  They’re still seriously talking about building the thing

Councils are switching off their street lights to save money.  Expect a rise in traffic accidents and violent crime and robbery — but that’s OK ‘cos the costs of those won’t be on the council’s books.

Every tabloid hack knows that students these days are just taught how to pass exams, rather than the stuff they’ll need to know out in the real world.  Turns out that this is just as true of learner drivers — but the authorities are trying to change that, starting with the removal of test routes from the internet.

As Sustrans opens an alternative coast-to-coast route, the government is being asked to remember what a good investment proper cycling infrastructure is.  The most entertaining reminder is Christian Wolmer’s epic letter to the Minister for Miscellaneous Non-Rail Non-Car Transport (or whatever his title is).

Lambeth Palace has collided with a bus.

Three-mile, £105 million motorway will provide “attractive gateway” to Port Talbot.

Durham know that a weak “congestion charge” that’s in single figures — whether £2 or £9 — is never going to be effective.  The only proven way to get cars off the streets is the destroy them.

There’s a violent thief on SouthEastern trains.

That was quick: the visit-all-docking-stations-in-a-day challenge has already been successfully completed.

Tory councillors say stupid things about cycling and road danger shock.

A Cincinnati woman is arrested for an “equipment violation“, while a Carlisle woman on the motorway does it the old fashioned way.

The M42 was closed by a poorly horse.

Ho ho.  Florida man arrested for “arguing with bicycle“.

Your moment of zen, Driving Fail via Boing Boing:

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2 responses to “Weekly War Bulletin, 11 Sep

  1. Pingback: Boris Says: On Your Bike | Londonist

  2. Just another smug, lying, cherry-picking car-hater, who knows that speed cameras increase collisions but thinks that’s “worth it” in order to bully the motorist scum, who obviously shouldn’t be driving because you hate the freedom that motoring provides and the capitalism that it represents.

    Don’t you ever feel guilty about telling lies about road safety? It’s life and death, literally. If you feel it’s so important to stop everyone driving then why not state that that is your aim, and stop pretending to care about safety? Oh, I know, it’s because you know perfectly well that only a few other car-hating nutters would support you. Most people want to drive, and so in a democracy, that is what is going to happen. Just accept it, move on, and stop telling silly lies.

    Oh BTW, I’ve just thought of a really clever way to discourage driving while pretending it’s all about safety. Just reduce speed limits to an absurdly low level (way below the 85th percentile…yes, the 85th percentile, just one of a massive array of truths that you lot find inconvenient), put cameras everywhere, and then pretend to be self-righteously horrified at all the dreadful, reckless “speeding” when drivers, surprise surprise, realise that the limits are inappropriate, think for themselves, and ignore them. When condemning those drivers, be very careful to oversimplify the subject (“If you don’t want to be fined, don’t speed, and that’s that”) and definitely avoid mentioning that the speed limits are clearly too low. Isn’t that so very clever?

    Presumably you’d still be using the same “logic” to condemn those “speeding” on evil motorways if limits on those roads were reduced to 5mph. No? That’s “clearly ridiculous” is it? Then where exactly does the line come? 50mph? 30mph? Some speed limits are already clearly ridiculous, as you well know, and if you genuinely don’t, then you clearly don’t know much about safe driving.

    I mean, sure, the “reduce speed limits far too much and then punish and castigate drivers for exceeding them” policy has the side effects of costing lives and deliberately distorting drivers’ priorities by overemphasising the Holy Speed Limit, but it’s worth it in order to stick it to the motorist scum, none of whom should be driving, even the elderly and the disabled. Let’s ruin everyone’s careers and lives by banning them for driving at a safe speed for the conditions! Yay! That wouldn’t be being an utter c**t or anything, would it?

    You’re never going to stop everyone driving, nor is that even desirable, so do something useful and honest for humanity instead. Please. It isn’t the ABD’s fault that it keeps stating irrefutable facts that you find awkward.

    One final thing: do you support the dualling of the A9 between Perth and Inverness, to stop all the overtaking accidents which are occurring on the current inadequate single-carriageway stretch? Of course you don’t. You can give all the disingenuous excuses you like, but you and I both know that the real reason why you don’t support it is that it would make driving easier. Your real aim is to give drivers a hard time, you only use safety as a cover, and you are prepared to tell lies about safety to get your wish. Shame on you and your ilk.

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