The speed camera conspiracy

The petrolhead community have long fought to expose the conspiracy behind speed cameras. In the name of transparency and ending The War On The Motorist, the DfT have collated some of the data on speed cameras. And guess what? At a couple of camera locations, there have been more injuries. With over five thousand cameras and data reported for both minor and serious injuries, what are the chances that campaigners who scour the data will be able to find one or two camera locations where one or the other measurements happens to have risen? It must be a significant result.

But wait, I’ve discovered something even more sinister in this speed camera conspiracy. Using the speed camera map, I discovered that there are speed cameras in Bath, Lewisham and Leicester, and more speed cameras in Worcester, Cambridge, and Southampton.

Don’t you see what this means?

This isn’t just any conspiracy. This is a Jewish conspiracy!

Based on an idea from Stephen Colbert (unfortunately I can’t find a video of the time he found a star of St David in CNN’s weather map), and with a tip of the hat to Matt Parker’s alien navigation system.

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5 responses to “The speed camera conspiracy

  1. Is it actually “just a couple”? The BBC seems to give two examples, and doesn’t mention any more. Meanwhile we’ve got an idiotic minister talking about “cash cow cameras”.

  2. It is worrying that so few journalist understand basic data analysis (or the concept of fact checking, for that matter) and so just churn over the press release without bothering to check the details.

    • I quite agree. Whenever a “safety” camera partnership releases figures which deliberately fail to take account of regression to the mean, bias on selection, etc, solely in order to justify their parasitic existence, then the anti-motorist journalists and bloggers are all too happy to quote them without doing any checking whatsoever. They have blood on their hands, as do those car-haters who support speed cameras in the full knowledge that they do not improve safety (and probably make it worse).

      People are entitled to their opinion that driving should be discouraged or banned altogether, however laughable that may be. But why do these people have to tell lies about important things like road safety in order to get what they want? Just because they hate drivers, and they know every driver speeds, they massively and deliberately exaggerate the supposed dangers of “speeding” (often deliberately lumping in excessive speed for the conditions, a completely different thing), and try to make speed limits ever lower and enforcement ever more draconian. It is impossible to overestimate just how irresponsible and dangerous this behaviour is. Nothing justifies lying about road safety, particularly something as pointless as trying to restrict motoring when very often there is no decent alternative (public transport is utterly rubbish, so why not campaign to improve that instead of just trying to make driving more difficult?)

      Time to wake up. Apart from anything else, the war on the motorist has been a complete failure: we’ve now had 20 years of speed cameras, roadspace removal, and myriad other anti-motorist nonsense, and people are still driving, because as I said above, they have no other choice. All this bullying of drivers does is to cause unnecessary frustration, which of course leads to accidents. Bravo, car-haters!

  3. Kim, I think they understand. They just also understand what makes a good story.

  4. Just watch out you don’t get sucked in by Godwin’s Law!

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