Cyclists need more situational awareness and training

No more learned an authority than Lord Alan Sugar recently proclaimed that cycling infrastructure is unnecessary because cyclists simply need more situational awareness and training.

I realise now that the noble lord has a point. We could save the tiny number of very important people like Lord Sugar who drive into London minutes on their journeys if we just train everybody to be more situation aware.

There’s just one thing I’d have to add to Lord Sugar’s training programme: it’s not just the cyclists we’d have to train.

Because these signposts also need more situational awareness.

Bloody signposts, causing congestion. If they weren't physically occupying that space we could've driven through it. pic.twitter.com/dEjqhTSK6M

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 1, 2015

These traffic lights need more situational awareness.

Bloody pedestrians. You give them a crossing and this is the state they leave it in… pic.twitter.com/jd660oV7h4

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 27, 2015

This bridge needs more situational awareness.

pic.twitter.com/D6qxMBJfvQ

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) September 9, 2015

There aren't enough signs. pic.twitter.com/R6ulIiat1b

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) September 9, 2015

This guardrail needs more situational awareness.

#Brent. pic.twitter.com/NFClSgeXh6

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) September 1, 2015

This utilities cabinet needs more situational awareness.

Bloody pedestrians, you give them a footway, fill it with lovely amenities, and do they look after it? pic.twitter.com/CofODMOwRg

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) July 23, 2015

These bollards need more situational awareness.

Those lasted longer than expected then. pic.twitter.com/3o90kR08xt

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) June 10, 2015

This street lamp needed more situational awareness.

The jaunty street lamp stub covered in caution tape is almost a cliché motif in south London these days… pic.twitter.com/bVLPUNTDh4

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) May 8, 2015

These stands needs more situational awareness.

#bloodycyclists you give them a stand… pic.twitter.com/ujhPg09mtr

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) May 8, 2015

#bloodycyclists You give them a stand but do they look after it? pic.twitter.com/wZpMTpCfxN

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) April 9, 2015

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness.

The "just ask them to play nice" method, there, working for the people of Norwood Road. pic.twitter.com/vL9Sg8A71L

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) March 11, 2015

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness.

"Pedestrian refuge" #lambeth pic.twitter.com/R9qFFGjS6w

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) March 3, 2015

These bollards need more situational awareness.

Don't think i've trotted out a #bloodycyclists in a while… pic.twitter.com/8EFHeZH0Qp

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) March 2, 2015

This bridge needs more situational awareness.

Shouldn't've… blind spot… should wear hiviz… etc etc [Will this do @StuartMayell?] MT @LAS_TacAdvisor: 07.40 E9 pic.twitter.com/sUj8JaguIp

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 31, 2015

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness.

Neatly done. pic.twitter.com/kXSCvKnpQ9

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 14, 2015

This 20mph sign needs more situational awareness.

Oh *and* they've done the other end too… So ungrateful for those 8 metres of track… pic.twitter.com/9iuDOF5NYF

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 6, 2015

This bollard bottom right needs more situational awareness.

Digitising 3 generations of family photos… What kind of sad losers…? pic.twitter.com/asTTXpX7PU

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 26, 2014

This utilities box needs more situational awareness.

#bloodypedestrians. You give them a few inches of cluttered footway by an overcrowded pelican, do they look after it? pic.twitter.com/NVxm8RM96Q

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 16, 2014

This stand needs more situational awareness.

#bloodycyclists not looking after their stands. MT @Jon_events think this stand at the nightingale has had 1 too many pic.twitter.com/fdgsvuJO1U

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 15, 2014

This bin needs more situational awareness.

Ffs, you give them a footway and this is the state they leave it in. #bloodypedestrians pic.twitter.com/sRoTKeV0zM

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 9, 2014

This bridge needs more situational awareness.

Shouldn't've got in his blind spot. MT @ianwalker Rail rplcmt bus hits bridge, disrupts trains http://t.co/PJkW45lQpu pic.twitter.com/20kAhCeGiS

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) December 7, 2014

This lamp post needs more situational awareness.

#bloodypedestrians always breaking everything on the footway. pic.twitter.com/aUSlaDX8p8

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 29, 2014

All of this needs more situational awareness.

(…no really, I could. Doesn't take any effort. All just from one ride home the length of Lambeth…) pic.twitter.com/KOF75ODj62

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 27, 2014

These signs need more situational awareness.

(…#bloodycyclists…) pic.twitter.com/qTLbFCQf5a

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 27, 2014

This stuff needs more situational awareness.

Still, #bloodycyclists, eh. pic.twitter.com/xRshm3STkb

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 27, 2014

This bridge needs more situational awareness.

What warnings? RT @swindonadver: Driver 'did not see warnings' #swindon http://t.co/pX4Dai8l9t pic.twitter.com/xovQhMnwtI

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 21, 2014

This pedestrian crossing needs more situational awareness.

You give them a crossing, but do they look after it? #bloodypedestrians pic.twitter.com/LO0KWRW8Oh

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) November 14, 2014

This zebra crossing needs more situational awareness.

#bloodypedestrians pic.twitter.com/aJVvvFgVta

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) October 21, 2014

These bollards need more situational awareness.

It must be the day after Saturday night. All the 610s are taking the morning off. pic.twitter.com/fH9DA2MqJQ

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) October 12, 2014

These 20mph signs need more situational awareness.

I've lived here 8 weeks and only just noticed the ironic 20mph signs. I'm getting unobservant :/ pic.twitter.com/uBEmgx2BZi

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) October 7, 2014

This bridge needs more situational awareness.

<usual jokes about hi viz and getting in driver blind spots here> RT @LondonFire: the 'we fit' lorry didn't quite fit pic.twitter.com/iEe3aj9EQ2

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) October 6, 2014

And this bridge needs more situational awareness.

Yet another silly bridge gets itself in a lorry driver's blind spot. RT @djcutterz: gorton road near ashburys station pic.twitter.com/9msX6ut4jq

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) September 16, 2014

This pedestrian crossing needs more situational awareness.

Sometimes I worry about riding er… tipsy. Then I remember *this* is "normal" and I don't do this… pic.twitter.com/6kZ7NA6MWr

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) July 25, 2014

All of this shit needs more situational awareness:

This railway needs more situational awareness:

And here is why we closed the Sheppy Branch earlier… pic.twitter.com/kudn1ZFUkH

— DriverPotter (@DriverPotter) August 29, 2015

This underground railway needs more situational awareness:

@steinsky @MamaMoose_Be oh the Germans have you beat on this one pic.twitter.com/Kv8ihbpKvz

— SapioSpiritual (@SapioSpiritual) January 4, 2016

This lake needs more situational awareness:

https://twitter.com/KatyHolliday/status/684697437051682816

This “Let’s look out for eachother” sign needs more situational awareness:

If you hadn't been concentrating on the Drive Safely sign this wouldn't have happened… (Pic: @PhotoNeilCross) pic.twitter.com/Cl8IoR2C4w

— Iain Lynn (@nwpicdesk) January 6, 2016

This sign needs more situational awareness:

Another #SituationalAwareness example for @steinsky here, on Waterloo Bridge. A photo from 2013: pic.twitter.com/6Y6sgGg1hp

— The Alternative DfT (@AlternativeDfT) January 9, 2016

These bollards need more situational awareness:

This evening's #situationalawareness fails. pic.twitter.com/U3P6eKasvN

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 7, 2016

This sign for cyclists needs more situational awareness:

The baffling sign at Angel lasted well, but in the end it just didn't have the situational awareness. pic.twitter.com/GSuqZXyVqq

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 11, 2016

This photographic representation of a cyclist on a phone box advert needs more situational awareness:

Photographs of cyclists on phone box adverts need more situational awareness. pic.twitter.com/LWI1PzcRzQ

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 15, 2016

This pedestrian guardrail needs more situational awareness:

Update: Man taken to hospital after Essex BMW smashhttps://t.co/n9LZNqL4Pa pic.twitter.com/OKbON11Tf6

— What's On Essex (@whatsonessex) January 15, 2016

Traffic signals need more situational awareness:

Veh failed to stop for Traffic officer. He took the left turn to fast, collided with an ATS. Huddersfield Road Lees pic.twitter.com/noMdCJtTLT

— GMP Traffic (@gmptraffic) February 9, 2016

Ponies need more situational awareness:

10,000 motorists caught speeding during attempt to reduce animal accidents in the #newforest https://t.co/Z9NCebtt3y pic.twitter.com/Xjx9FShz70

— New Forest NPA (@NewForestNPA) February 3, 2016

The sea needs more situational awareness:

RNLI Teignmouth been busy what a lucky chap #BMW . @GeorgeCochrane1 @PrestigeDiesels @simonshieldcars @gra4ham pic.twitter.com/1eACvh95ih

— Nick F (@Nick_F3D) October 11, 2015

All of this needs more situational awareness:

A lot of new street furniture failing to exhibit appropriate situational awareness this evening. pic.twitter.com/G9sb9cV0oE

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 19, 2016

Cycle paths need more situational awareness:

Just been reminded of the gross lack of situational awareness exhibited by this cycleway… https://t.co/3sodJeIW7D pic.twitter.com/xEoWZg4QyH

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 20, 2016

Trees need more situational awareness:

Looks like Hackney needs to give its trees in Leonard Circus training in situational awareness (Via @Hackneycyclist) pic.twitter.com/k1QkdLclfs

— David Arditti (@VoleOSpeed) January 24, 2016

Rivers need more situational awareness:

Rivers need more situational awareness. https://t.co/ufNd8IxQ4V pic.twitter.com/APqKt7WSR9

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 26, 2016

These Dutch things need more situational awareness:

Dutch street furniture doesn't need situational awareness, because they have strict liability. pic.twitter.com/ne2SlozKbt

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) January 30, 2016

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness:

I want to break free, I want to break freeee! Some kind of lack of situational awareness? @steinsky pic.twitter.com/Gviie2OGs2

— Damiano di Cere (@Dominus_Tempori) February 1, 2016

This bus lane and contraflow cycle lane needs more situational awareness:

#bloodycyclists and their lack of situational awareness. pic.twitter.com/dAoJaIdYCt

— Joe Dunckley (@steinsky) February 12, 2016

These trees need more situational awareness:

I'm starting to think that drivers should pass a test and be insured before being allowed to drive on the pavement. pic.twitter.com/jY1qLJuKn7

— KenningtonPplOnBikes (@KenningtonPOB) February 3, 2016

This traffic signal needs more situational awareness:

Traffic island needs some more situational awareness, @steinsky pic.twitter.com/gNFPMW2sqs

— Mark Treasure (@AsEasyAsRiding) January 16, 2016

This pedestrian crossing button needs more situational awareness:

This pelican crossing button pole needs more situational awareness @AsEasyAsRiding @steinsky (via @Bedhead1158) pic.twitter.com/BWCNz8pyQb

— NI Greenways (@nigreenways) January 16, 2016

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness:

.@TonyHomewood @steinsky this GUY got his angles just perfect! pic.twitter.com/5gPEEUUVbD

— Jono Kenyon (@Jono_Kenyon) January 20, 2016

This pedestrian refuge needs more situational awareness:

Saw this last night. Must have been going at quite a speed to get up and over that island. pic.twitter.com/f8fUkv4Pjd

— Lap (@eatmoretoast) February 8, 2016

This pedestrian crossing needs more situational awareness:

One for @steinsky. Clearly the crossing panel should've worn a helmet and a hi-vi pic.twitter.com/fNjgerALUf

— Jonathan Rothwell (@jrothwell) February 14, 2016

If we can train the cyclists to have more situational awareness and we can train the road signs and the bollards and the bridges and the pedestrian refuges and the zebra crossings and the traffic lights and the fences and the bell bollards and the utilities boxes and the bins and the railways and the lakes and the phone boxes and the guardrail and the cycle paths and the sea to have more situational awareness… then we’re 👌. Lord Sugar will once again be able to do whatever the fuck he likes.

Oh, except we’ll also have to train all the houses, and some of those are quite old and set in their ways…